What is it all for?

A swan song.

What is it all for?
Photo by AZGAN MjESHTRI / Unsplash

I have started this post many times, stalling, delaying, procrastinating. But I have come to a firm decision. I am tired. Really really tired. Tired of my job. Tired of my career. Tired of … well, everything.

I find that the longer I have been a product manager, the less meaning it brings me. It feels like it has changed so much (and it has) but also that it is largely pointless.

Sure, you get to be the balancing act in the organization, weighing and metering the disparate stakeholders, ensuring that the organization is working on meaningful things.

But it isn’t a miracle. It takes hard work, and an organization that is mature enough to recognize the value.

In the last few weeks, I have had some really fucked up interactions with my manager and the management team. We just disagree at a fundamental level about what it is we (I) do. And, frankly, I just want to burn it all to the ground. I can’t because I am at an age that makes this likely the last stop in tech. I am pretty much unhireable.

I have been in product management for 25 years. Prior to that I spent nearly a decade in wafer fabs and at a company that made measuring microscopes.

I am tired. The same bullshit, day in, day out. Sure, I make a pretty solid pay packet. But I just don’t enjoy it.

Thus, I am going to pull this site offline. I started it in 2016 when between jobs I made a stab to hang out a shingle and go independent contractor. At first I was all energetic, writing deep posts on strategy, pricing, market segmentation and analysis. It felt good, even if I failed to get more than a couple of very low paying engagements (in truth, I think I did about 3 days work in 6 months, hardly a ringing endorsement).

It has been fun, there have been some good posts. But it is all done.

I would like to thank those who subscribed, those who clicked links and read posts, and those who stumbled upon this via searching. That little bit makes it seem like it was worth it in the end.

Every day I wake up thinking I should write something for here. I have 12 or so partial posts in the drafts folder, started but unfinished, lacking polish but taunting me as yet another thing I am failing to accomplish.

For what? Currently there are 60 subscribers here. Hardly a cult-like following.

So it is with that, that I bid adieu. I hope that if you read this, you can remember something about this site. Perhaps drop a comment, as I will make this open to comments.

Au revoir.